There is a Middle Path in Parenting

There is a middle path in parenting, nurturing, caring, and interest in who your child is.
Recently Karen Nemeth, EdM brought to my attention via twitter that parents are paying big money for tutors for their pre kindergartners, to help them ace the test to get into gifted level kindergarten in NYC. I realize the overcrowded population levels in that Metro Island brings out a competitor attitude, but tutors for K entrance placement is extreme. It speaks more about distortion of parental values than anything I have heard in recent years. I understand that many parents get over-zealous , trying to push their "Little Me"s into ever greater achievements. The stats show at least 20% of birth to 5 yr parents have gone way beyond encouraging their child into gathering feathers for their own caps.
On the other extreme, about 50% of birth to 5 Yr parents all not even reading to their children, no books in the home suitable for children at all. Some of these parents are very high tech people that think books at outdated. Others of these parents are not confident as educating their child and hope that when their children hit Kindergarten they will get all they need at school. Others are too preoccupied with working for basic necessities, or their own personal dramas to notice. Some just don't understand how important they are to their early child.

I suggest there is a middle path that perhaps 30% of parents are successfully navigating. They are happy to take some time , reading with their child (even just 20 minutes a day). They know their child develops most of his or her lifelong learning skills capacity by age 3yrs. They know that everyday experiences shared and talked about with their little one, open up and shape their child's view of life, love and learning. They actually find that time spent in reading together, and other activities is a great enjoyable dynamic in their own lives.
I'm asking those who have not known about this middle path to take a look. If you are not confident about how to share a children's picture book with your early child look at amazon.com listing of my book Teddy Bear's Favorite Pictures, with step-by-step guidelines to do just that, as well as beautiful art work by Delia Bowman Wach.
If you would like a copy of my free guidelines "Enjoy Books With Children" email me at info@LiteracyForTykes.com .
If you are over-fixated on your own golden child, relax and send a little of those dollars to www.LiteracyForTykes.com to benefit the underprivileged children to keep from being at-risk-to fail.
The main thing is enjoy the wonderful opportunity you have to share whatever time you have each day with the most important persons in your life, your early children.

Where is the Light of Learning

Where is the light of learning
By which mankind survives?
We can have the light of learning
When we touch each other's lives.

With simple acts of sharing
Keep learning ties well knit;
And give our time in caring
To keep each lamp well lit.

Where is the light of learning
By which mankind survives?
We can have the light of learning
When we touch each other's lives.

-song/poem copyright 2008 Nancy J. Cloyd

Tips: Early Child Literacy & Language Development - Part Three

Literacy and language development is , when all goes well, a building process. What is learned on day can be built upon possibly as soon a the next day.
After the fourth birthday, favorite books are a great place to go one step futher than before. Continue pointing at the printed words as you say them. Four year olds start getting the idea that you are reading the print. Once you see that awareness you can even mention how "m" sounds, and other specific letter sounds.
It's good to start with the beginning sounds like "C" "Cat", "T" "Teddy", "B" Bear". Children are very proud of catching on to new "secrets" about favorite books.

Also discuss color names when reading a book, dressing your child, or looking at a television show together. "Big Bird is yellow"; "Grover is blue"; "The Teddy Bear is brown". Kindergarten teachers evaluate your child as to whether they can identify the 8 colors in the basic crayon box to determine readiness.

When it's time to put away the toys, help your child. She or he will do much better knowing the order you think things should go in. Remember the mimicking tendency is still the best way a child learns. Model exactly where you like things to go. Talk about why certain things go in a certain order. If your child has a strong preference about a particular favorite item, discuss it. Listen and if you can live with his or her idea, compromise. They do love to feel you are listening, and that their opinion counts for something. Of course , you are the boss, but hopefully a benevolent dictator. (Red Flag:autistic children may line up everything compulsively.)

When talking with your four year old, be sure to introduce new words that are relevant to your child. "Be well rested" can go along with "Then you'll have lots of energy". You might chose a new book that has a few new words or discuss a favorite book using a few additional words that are new. If your child is not yet in a classroom setting, get a book about being in kindergarten.

Putting away groceries is a great time to introduce categorizing to your child. "Put all the cans in here". This age is also a good time to give 2 simple directions at a time like: "Put your jacket on the chair and then put all the cans in this cupboard". Of course the cupboard would have to be within the child's reach.
Following 2 simple directions is one of the things that kindergarten screening looks at to see if your child is ready.

Board games are a great way to help your child get used to following simple directions.

Tips: Early Child Literacy & Language Development - Part Two

Literacy and language development is unique to each child. These tips are general guidelines. Some children will proceed at different rates than others. Some will reverse this pattern or do it differently. Others who have not been exposed to the opportunities we outlined in our tips for birth through three years old, may still need those experiences before they can progress onto the stages we outline today. Literacy and language development is a growth process, in which the early building blocks need to come before the later building blocks. When in doubt start with the early ideas and activities mentioned in yesterdays blog and see if your child responds well to those. If they are very easy, build upon them with today's ideas and tips for children .
After their third birthday, talking to your child about the events of the day is important. We do not suggest an inquisition style, so questions that can be simply answered yes or no are not the point. Since the idea is to stimulate your child's use of language, ask him or her leading questions, like what did you like best in that book?
Reading books together is still an important part of your day, or evening. The together time spent lap reading, or "right-next-to" reading, continues to offer the close cuddling that nurtures your child in a reading situation. This gives positive feelings about the world of books that will carry with your child for a lifetime. If your child has a favorite book or two, see how much more he or she is able to relate to the pictures and possibly tell you the names and make the sounds and tell you the simple sentences from memory. This would be a good time for you to point to the printed words as you say them. This gives your three year old a clue that the print has something to do with the sounds(words)you make as well as the pictures they describe.
At this stage, children often like to pretend that they are cooking, exercising, making houses out of blocks, or boxes. Using assorted large colored squares of cloth, they can pretend to be in various costumes like, you or the mailman, the doctor, someone in fancy clothes.
Since your child is attempting to speak more words everyday,encourage them to pronounce their words more clearly. You can lovingly say "Mommy's having a hard time hearing your words. Can you say that again, please?"
Enjoy your child. He or she is unfolding in their own special way. This is a tender age and the ideal time to share enthusiasm for life, and experiencing new things each day, as well as continuing favorite things, books, activities.
Tomorrow we'll continue with "After their fourth birthday..."

Tips: Early Child Literacy & Language Development

Tips for early child literacy and language development vary by your child's age and stage. Some children are consistenet or 'typical' developers; others start somewhat typically, but can alter their course by age 2 years or so. See www.firstsigns.org for in depth discussion of the need to observe for reversals of language and communication development.
These tips are helpful for typical (and several variations on typical) development.

In your child's first year: read a simple picture book to them daily; be sure to cuddle and lap-read since loving touch is so important for thriving; when animals appear in the book teach your baby to make the animal sounds; while making eye contact, imitate the sounds that your baby makes; talk describing what you're doing to your baby if you are within visual range of each other; play peek-a-boo and other games involving your baby's senses; if your baby does not seem to respond to you, have their hearing checked.

Babies love to mimic sounds and their sense of language is encouraged when you mimic their sounds. All of this interaction is only possible if their hearing and vision are functioning properly. When in doubt, have it checked out.

After their first birthday: naming objects in their day and naming objects represented as pictures in their books is important. They start to get it when you consistently call an object by the same name. Pointing at their nose, ears, mouth etc, and pointing to your same body parts is important. Also extend that by pointing at all the noses, ears and mouths represented in picture books. They are able to begin understanding the meaning of the sounds you consistently repeat through the day. Help them point to picture parts you are describing and they will start pointing themselves, as you read the same books to them each day. They thrive on repetition.
At this point, its a good time to give your child one simple direction at a time."Show me your nose" -or- "Look at Mommy".

After their second birthday: They will begin to pick up on the idea of simple sentences you say frequently and consistently; favorite books with simple sentences become something they repeat; they start to understand that words (sounds) can be strung together, for specific meanings. "The cat is big"."Touch your nose", "I'll change your diaper now." "Food is coming." Gradually they get the meanings and learn to say the words at the appropriate times. "The ball is big"
Labeling things in their everyday life is helpful, when you say the label each time. They still may be relying on verbal cues, more than the actual printed letters, but this starts a process of print recognition. Labeling pictures of loved ones, and saying the names is helpful. Remember they love to hear you sing simple songs.
Tomorrow we talk about after their third and fourth birthdays.

Visual Literacy

Literacy is awareness that leads to reading and writing skills.
Visual Literacy is the beginning stage of becoming literate.Infants and toddlers completely depend on adults and older reading children for clues along the literacy journey. They learn especially well from someone they trust.

Toddlers learn that pictures are symbols for real life objects.
Flat images as in picture books are ideal for toddlers to learn about symbols.The adult care giver or parent reading the pictures to a toddler gives him or her clues as to what the image represents. Thus the toddler learns that the pictures are symbols for real life objects.Later they can understand that some images are representing imaginary objects.

Toddlers learn that certain sounds go with certain pictures (symbols).Written words are not significant to toddlers.
They hear the sounds you say and gradually learn that certain sounds or words are said in association with certain pictures.They think you are reading the pictures. Print means nothing to them initially. Only later do they understand, the sounds you make are associated with print.

Toddlers learn that books are different from other objects.They learn books are not toys; we don’t build towers with them.They learn that books are not food; we don’t eat them.By regularly reading with toddlers they learn that books are for reading.They also learn how to handle a book by your example. You are modeling to them all the clues they need to navigate the world of books: proper care of books, how to turn the page; read them from front to back.Eventually as they can relate to print they see how you read from left to right.
For a book that pursues this topic in greater detail see: Young Children and Picture Books, Mary Renck Jalongo, published by NAEYC.

Many Ways to Help Early Child Development

Many are putting forth good effort and information to help in the early child development crisis. Since researchers trying to discover the root cause of the high percentage of High School Dropouts have traced it all back to early child development, many organizations are putting a major effort into meeting those early needs. Pre-School for everyone is an interesting approach, though not currently economically feasible. Most children do not attend pre-school at this time. For every child in Headstart for poverty level and State funded Pre-k for low income there are probably 8 children who are not in any organized day care setting.
One grass roots attempt to better the picture is admirable Home Schooling that can start at whatever age the parent chooses, certainly by age 4 years. There are many sources of well-thought-out resources for moms and dads who are committed to providing a great education at home. Also there are organizations dedicated to offering better information to home-based day care providers, as well as center based ones. These groups, such as NAEYC provide regular training and resource information to those who seek to better what they are offering .
Still we see high % of children entering Kindergarten without the most essential building blocks of literacy and school readiness. In an effort to reach some of these children, SECA has made available a series of age appropriate books through pediatricians that are freely given to parents on well baby (child) check-ups, benefit- ting the segment of families who seek regular medical consultation.
Another issue, that is receiving some attention recently, is that various of the well established early child educational organizations do not have the resources they need to do all they would like. Leaders of many such groups have said they would love to have a book to give to every parent of every child so they could read to their child in the home. Most agree that parent/ child lap reading is the most effective way to compliment what they can do in a group setting. Most will also say that there are no books in the homes of the families they serve. Most will go on to make clear that the parents they serve do not read to the children at home.
This is where Literacy for Tykes came into the early child literacy crisis. Leaders we asked knew exactly how many families they served that could benefit from a children's picture book. When they saw award-winning Teddy Bear's Favorite Pictures they thought the step-by-step parent guidelines were perfect for encouraging their parents. No funding available inspired me to give up my rights to author's royalties and form a nonprofit organization with several other educators and concerned professionals.Now as a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit organization, our plea for tax-deductible donations goes out to all who will listen. We have received a one-time grant from Target that got our first Phase of Early Child Literacy Partnership with several organizations on our long list going. We have just scratched the surface of the need , even just in our portion of our state of Virginia. Blooming where we are planted , we hope to serve the largely rural area of Heartland Virginia, counties clustered around organizational centers in Farmville, Charlottesville, and Lynchburg. The statistics from other states indicate this early child literacy crisis is nationwide. We will do what we can for as many as possible as funds allow.
Next week I will write about a new way that without directly donating you can all help us get a grant.